Building Bridges to Ease Loneliness

Connections to Care Mobile Hero
Home / News & Events / Newsletter

Building Bridges to Ease Loneliness

Mar 12, 2015
People are lonely because they build walls, not bridges.
~ Unknown


Loneliness….It’s something most people have experienced at some point in their lives. For some, the feeling occurs after losing someone important to them, such as a spouse or partner, family member, or close friend. For others, it’s the loss of a job or moving away from friends and an established lifestyle that triggers it. Even the loss of a beloved pet can leave one feeling lonely.

Did you know you can be lonely without being alone? You can be in the middle of a crowd and yet still experience loneliness. If you have less social interaction and sense of connection than you would like, chances are you will feel lonely.

In a recent gathering, Caryl Geiger, RCFE activities director for Eisenberg Village, lead a discussion of this topic with Jewish Home residents. Many of the participants have experienced loss and major changes during their lifetime and are familiar with this sad feeling of being apart from others. Even a move to a warm, welcoming place like the Home can result in feelings of loneliness. To help deal with this side effect of transition, the Home assigns buddies to show newcomers around, make them aware of all the opportunities for socialization the Home offers, and introduce them to others.

The positive effects of banishing loneliness are many. Physically, it can lead to a decrease in blood pressure and cholesterol. Cortisol levels can be lowered, which helps lessen anxiety, digestive problems, heart disease, problems with sleep and obesity. Your immune system can get a boost, leading to less susceptibility to colds and “bugs.” And less loneliness can lessen the incidence depression and, ultimately, risk of suicide.

So what can you do if you’re feeling lonely? Our residents came up with a few great suggestions for relief:

Read a book. Books are great company and can take you to an entirely different world.
Listen to music. Music has the power to mesmerize you. It entertains, relaxes and rejuvenates.
Dance. Dancing can let your frustrations out and help you forget your loneliness.
Take a walk. Walking makes you part of the world around you while relaxing your body and mind.
Exercise. While you’re becoming stronger and feeling healthier, you might make a new friend in yoga class or try out the latest group fitness class.
Paint. Express yourself without worrying about the outcome.
Garden. Let your garden delight your senses and chase away your loneliness.
Meditate. Meditation will help you be at ease, whether you are alone or with others.
Clean. While not as much fun as the other ideas, it’s an opportunity to focus on the task at hand and put your house in order.
Sleep. A nice nap can help you feel refreshed and renewed.

These suggestions can be very helpful in providing short-term relief. Some of them can actually motivate you to reconnect to the world – you may find you’d like to join a book club, or perhaps on your walk you make a new friend, or you are inspired to take an art class. In other words, you begin building a bridge to help end your loneliness.

For many people, trying a new activity or talking to someone they don’t know is out of their comfort zone. This can be true for anyone at any age. By taking the focus off of yourself and putting it on others, you can take the first step to making a connection. Smile, say hello, and ask how someone is. People are often eager to talk about their lives. As simple as that, you may be on your way to making a new friend.

If you are experiencing chronic loneliness, please reach out to someone you trust – a family member, friend, rabbi or other spiritual leader, or professional counselor. Therapy is often helpful for discovering the reasons for your loneliness, developing coping skills, and moving forward to a happier, healthier life.

Sign up for the Los Angeles Jewish Health newsletter, Connections.

Recent Articles

Feb 4

Los Angeles Jewish Health Pays Tribute to Martin Luther King, Jr. and Reflects on His Powerful Legacy

A shared focus on the pursuit of justice made the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and his contemporaries in the American Jewish community natural allies. This past January, Los Angeles Jewish Health honored their historic collaboration with a special Martin Luther King, Jr. Day event that brought together a diverse audience to celebrate Dr. King and help carry his legacy forward.Overseen by Rabbi Karen Bender, LAJH’s chief mission officer, the gathering featured timeless music blending Jewish songs and themes with gospel sounds rooted in the African American tradition. The program was led by Hazan Mike Stein, who served as cantor of Temple Aliyah—now HaMakom—in West Hills for more than two decades and included contributions from Cantor Jenni Asher, HaMakom’s current cantor; Broadway actress Deborah Sharpe-Taylor; singer Fumani Thomas-Schwartz; pianist David Cohen; and numerous others.“Our goal was to present a fusion of music and ideas about the melding of the two cultures, Jewish and African American,” Stein says. “We sang a song I wrote with Deborah called ‘Shalom, Shalom’; ‘Wade in the Water,’ a traditional African American spiritual that was combined with ‘Mi Chamocha’; ‘We Shall Overcome’; and ‘When the Rain Comes Down,’ which speaks to the universal struggles we all go through, no matter our faith or background. Rabbi Bender also offered a beautiful d’var Torah.”The group performs music which blends songs and themes with gospel sounds rooted in the African American tradition. Rabbi Bender’s words of wisdom helped ground the emotionally uplifting musical tribute, emphasizing how the values of Dr. King align completely with Jewish values.“Our resident community at LAJH intuits the profundity of a message that relates to the principles of justice, equality, and loving-kindness,” she said.A highlight of the event was Sharpe-Taylor’s performance as Harriet Tubman. She offered a first-person portrayal of the iconoclastic activist and brought to life her role in the Underground Railroad.“The residents loved Deborah’s reenactment. She tried to embody Harriet, talking about her life, missing her husband, and bringing people to freedom,” Asher says. “When she was finished, Rabbi Bender got up and said, ‘I almost feel as if I met Harriet Tubman today!’”During the program, Asher, the first Black female cantor to be ordained in the United States, offered insights into her own experience as a Jew of color.“It’s amazing to be visible: I have people come up to me all the time to say they’ve never seen a Black or even a female cantor,” she says. “But Jews and Judaism have moved so far in terms of diversity, and I think it’s impactful for seniors to witness this evolution for themselves. The residents of Los Angeles Jewish Health were so warm and happy to see me, which was wonderful.”Also on hand for the event were William “Mickey” Stevenson and his wife, Michelle. Mickey, a legendary producer at Motown Records and one of the principal architects of the “Motown Sound,” talked about the outstanding partnership at the label between Black artists and its executives, some of whom were Jewish.Cantor Stein says the program was particularly resonant for many of the LAJH residents in the audience.“A lot of the seniors remember the ‘60s and were politically active, some of them playing important roles in advancing civil rights in their local communities,” he says. “In fact, my wife, Kelley, an LAJH resident, was actually at the “I Have a Dream” speech march! When Rabbi Bender talked about how Black and Jewish people are connected by traditions that encompass both being slaves and being free, you could see people nodding along. It’s a powerful link that gives us all common ground to stand up for what’s right.”Cantor Jenni Asher Deborah Sharpe-Taylor as Harriet TubmanWilliam “Mickey” Stevenson 
Read More
Feb 4

Embracing Life at Los Angeles Jewish Health Without Missing a Beat

Los Angeles Jewish Health rehabilitation patient Thomas Flynn has led a life full of success and accomplishment. But his most recent achievement may well be his greatest yet: surviving and thriving nearly one year after a high-stakes heart transplant.Tom’s health had been on a steady downward trajectory as doctors tried everything possible to address his ventricular tachycardia, a heart rhythm disorder that disrupted the electrical signals necessary for smooth cardiac functioning. After years of treatment and despite utilizing the latest in state-of-the-art medical advances (including surgical ablations and the placement of an implantable cardioverter defibrillator), doctors told him he had reached the end of the road.“I was basically out of options except for a transplant, and at 73 I was older than usual for that kind of procedure,” Tom says. “But I knew I wouldn’t be able to survive long term without it—I had been in the hospital 266 out of 365 days that year, which gives you an indication of how dire my circumstances were.”But Tom was otherwise healthy, without any comorbidities, and his doctors at Cedars-Sinai put him on the transplant list. Their decision saved his life.“It was a long shot, but they took a chance on me. I was the oldest person at Cedars-Sinai to get a transplant last year, and through what feels like a series of miracles, here I am today having turned 74,” Tom says.Those miracles include his medical team at Cedars-Sinai, a donor heart that matched his profile (“I think of that person every single day”), and the rehabilitation care he is receiving at LAJH.“I’ve been in JEK [the Joyce Eisenberg-Keefer Medical Center] for the past six months, and when I first got here, I was hooked up to so many machines that I couldn’t even leave my room for three months,” Tom recalls. “But the team at LAJH is amazing, from the doctors to the senior nursing staff, all the way to the certified nursing assistants. Now, I’m up and walking around, doing things I never thought I’d have the chance to do again!”Thomas FlynnBesides receiving rigorous occupational and physical therapy, Tom is an active member of the resident community.“The therapeutic activities here are incredible. The staff does so much to make sure our neural networks are firing and cognitive synapses are working—hosting discussion groups and learning activities that have residents reaching deep. It’s so gratifying,” he says.The intellectual stimulation has been critically important to Tom, who spent his career in both government and industry working on big ideas to strengthen the fabric of American society.After graduating from Columbia University and Santa Clara University School of Law, he joined the administration of Governor Jerry Brown in Sacramento, where he worked to open California up to international investment and supported the development of Silicon Valley. From there, he pivoted to the private sector, helping bring the first generation of electricity-generating windmills to Palm Springs and facilitating the acquisition of agricultural technology from Israel. Tom’s multifaceted career also included stints as chief executive officer of one of the nation’s premier public opinion and social research firms—where he managed Times/CNN polling for the 1992 and 1996 presidential election cycles—and time as a government consultant collaborating on impactful studies for the Department of Defense and other agencies.He and his wife, Cari Beauchamp, a prominent writer and journalist, split their time between Los Angeles, Washington, D.C., and New York, making their marks professionally while also raising their two sons, Jake and Teo. Cari passed away from cancer in 2023.At LAJH, in addition to recovering his physical stamina and sharpening his mental acuity, Tom has fostered new friendships with other JEK residents.“People are so smart and have such fascinating life stories. All of us are here because of medical infirmities, but we still have so much to offer in terms of our various skills and talents,” he says. “The entire LAJH community keeps me active and stimulated, and I’m so grateful every single day.” 
Read More
Jan 7

Illuminating Celebration and Pride: Chanukah at Los Angeles Jewish Health

Each year, Chanukah invites us to look back at the courage of the Maccabees, a small band that fought not only for survival, but for the right to live openly and proudly as Jews. Their story reminds us that Jewish pride is not loud or boastful; it is steady, resilient, and deeply rooted in identity and purpose. In every generation, Chanukah lifts that message like a flame, and this year at Los Angeles Jewish Health, that flame of pride glowed especially bright.So many of our residents grew up in times and places where Jewish identity was something to be quiet about or carefully held inside. Not only in countries in a state of danger or upheaval, but even in American cities, in neighborhoods, clubs, parks, and workplaces, where subtle messages made it clear that being Jewish was something to soften or conceal. And yet, they persevered. They built families, communities, and lives of meaning, carrying their Judaism forward with quiet strength.Here, at LAJH, no one needs to tuck that part of themselves away. Being Jewish is safe. Indeed, here pride is not resisted; it is cherished. Our residents gather to celebrate, sing, study, light candles, and tell stories not only of the past, but of the journeys that brought them to this community. They are surrounded by peers, caregivers, and friends who honor their heritage and uplift who they are. The joy of Chanukah becomes not only a memory of courage but a living experience of belonging. The plethora of celebratory foods, entertainment, and spiritual celebration serves to enhance it all.And beyond our own story, Chanukah offers an ethical calling: just as we affirm the dignity of Jewish identity, we affirm the dignity of every person. The Chanukah lights teach that every individual should have the right to be themselves. Every human being should enjoy the freedom to live authentically, to feel proud of who they are, and to shine in the fullness of their own unique light. Images of Chanukah from across Los Angeles Jewish Health:
Read More